Saturday, January 01, 2005

The Huddle

My brother recently took his family plus our mother plus a gaggle of friends to the San Francisco 49ers game. My mother said, “You know your brother--he loves being the Donald Trump of (his town).” That comment cracked us up, since it’s such an apt description of him. And I say that with utter love and affection and devotion. I love the guy.

My mother said that at one point during the game, my 7-year-old niece, C., had the binoculars. It was between plays and the teams were huddled up. My brother asked her (as she peered through the binoculars) what was going on down on the field. C. scoped out the huddle and answered, “I think they’re makin’ a plan.” And that’s exactly what I plan to do--make a plan…and stick with it. Here a few things in that plan:

To consolidate my blogs - Very few of you visit the other site anyway (sorry, Lynn!) so instead of giving up writing about my interior life, just expect an occasional post here about whatever’s swirling around in my head. (I’m not going to delete the Cari-bein’ site, I’ve just removed it from my Blogger profile. But I don‘t plan to post there, at least for awhile.) I’ve let the other site languish for over a month, and it occurred to me that it wasn’t for lack of interest in posting there--it’s that my life has become more integrated over the last year. I’d like to post all my thoughts in one place.

To finally embrace the notion that commitment does not always mean the loss of freedom - And to prove that point, the boyfriend and I are in the process of purchasing 5 acres in Southern Colorado. More on that later…

To spend more time being aware of my breath and less time aware of the knots in my shoulders - I‘m assuming that doing the first will ameliorate the second.

To reverse my financial strategy - Instead of trying to find money to pay for things I want, I plan to pursue the things I want and trust the money will show up. (So far, so good.)

To use my looming landmark birthday as a free pass to be the gal I always meant to be - I’m pretty selfish already in how I spend my time, but I may become even more so. Let me clarify. If you were a fly on the wall, you'd think I have a pretty self-indulgent life. It's just the two of us here, so we don't have to cater much to anyone's interests and needs on a daily basis other than our own. And even though we spend a lot of time together, we give each other space to do our own thing. That's on the surface. But deeper, when it comes to dreams and aspirations and goals and wants, I'm often very selfless. I almost always put others' needs ahead of my own. I plan to change that this year. I plan to start doing some things that I want to do--that will benefit me first.

To write something every single day - Even if it’s a 10-minute timed writing (for those of you, like me, who go way back with the Writing Down the Bones thing). And if I don’t, I fully expect BluePoppy to kick my ass.

To eat more healthily - I don’t consume a lot of junk food, but I don’t eat nearly enough fresh produce. As a life-long West Coaster before moving here, I got spoiled by having world-class produce available year-round. Freshness isn’t that easy to find here sometimes, but I vow to look harder for it.

To continue nurturing and valuing the friendships I’ve made through this site - You all ROCK! You’re one of the big reasons 2004 was such a good year for me in so many ways, in spite of some emotional ups and downs. If there’s anything you ever want or need from me, just ask. ‘Cause gals? I got your back.


Blogger lizardek said...

that is a GREAT list! And you're right, bluepoppy WILL kick your ass :) har! I didn't know you had another blog, so I'm glad I haven't missed out too much since you haven't been updating there.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh good, I'm glad I'm not only one who didn't know you had another blog somewhere.

Great goals! And I know just what you mean- MY life seems pretty self indulgant on the surface as well, but inside? I'm a giver baby! LOL

Happy new year my friend!

And what the hell is this about Colorado? Does that mean you aren't coming back to Ca after all?


12:34 PM  

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