Tuesday, July 27, 2004

energy zapper

You know it's bad when you're counting the DAYS until you leave your job...and your end date is still seven months away.  Ha!  Today was one of those days where it felt like time had slowed to a c...r...a...w...l.  It didn't help that last night I stayed up past my bedtime (to watch Clinton's speech), so I was draggin' ass to begin with.  I went for my usual walk on the beach after work, but even that felt like a bit of a chore.  When I returned from the beach I grabbed a book and told the boyfriend I was going to take a quick nap.  I woke up four hours later. 

I'm a firm believer that energy begets energy.  When I spend my days sitting at a drone office job bored out of my mind it's hard to feel energetic.  I don't have a door on my office, so twice today I snuck into the bathroom to do a few minutes of stretching and deep breathing.  I just felt so lethargic.  That office is like a black hole of negative energy, both in the sense of having a negative vibe and also being an environment that's the polar opposite of energy-inducing.

Recently I had the realization that my discontent at that job has partly been because a) not one thing has interested me (not one!!) and b) I haven't learned anything.  And I've been there 3-1/2 years!  I've had some shitty-ass jobs, but even the most hideous job can sometimes provide a kernel of something--a moment of piqued interest or a tiny skill that could come into play in another setting.  This job has been devoid of all of that.  Jeez, it depresses me to even write that.

So I slog my way through it as best I can--with humor and self-care techniques done behind the bathroom door.  That, and the occasional four-hour nap.


Post a Comment

<< Home