Sunday, July 11, 2004


Last night the boyfriend and I jumped on the "Spiderman" bandwagon. We had absolutely no desire to see the first film, but since the sequel was getting such good reviews (and since we have absolutely no life and were bored) we went to see "Spiderman 2" last night.

I went with the hope that I could allow myself to be swept up in its cartoonish silliness and for the most part, I succeeded. If only I could have gotten her to shut up. You know, that voice. In my head. She's a catty thing. Here's part of the running monologue I had to listen to through the film:

"It's freezing in here! I told you you should have worn long pants." Oh, wait, that was out the boyfriend. Here's the bitchy chick:

"Alright, let's see how that little pipsqueak McGuire pulls off playing a superhero. Oh, Kirsten, the red hair is bad enough, but jesus it's so scraggly. Who the hell was the hairdresser on this thing? Fuck it's cold. I don't know who this James Franco cat is, but why does he look so high? 'You want more intense emotion here? Okay, I'd better narrow my eyes even more.' And what's with the wet lips? He's just too...wet...and stoned looking. Did the comic book have Peter all teary-eyed in every scene? Couldn't Peter be sorta wimpy, but without all the crying? Kirsten, you might be cute and perky, but those boobs are definitely not. Why the hell didn't wardrobe insist she wear a bra? Jeez, they're gonna be at her waistline by the time she's 25. Okay, my nose is totally frozen now. Ooooh, girl, you must've really pissed off the crew that day, 'cause the way they lit you there made you look hella ugly! I can just hear the production meeting: 'How can we make Ock even scarier in this scene?' 'I know, we'll have Alfred take off his shirt.' 'Brilliant!' Alfred, you're a brilliant actor in spite of being in this movie, but please, dear god, don't ever play another scene shirtless."

So, as you can see, I enjoyed it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha-- thank you for warning me off. The reviews have been good so T did ask me to see it, but seeing as I DID see the first one I said no thnaks-- but he might have still swayed me had I not read this. I owe you one! -- bluepoppy

12:53 PM  
Blogger stinkerbelle said...

this is so funny.....

note to self - must begin writing down the stuff that runs through my mind and post it in my blog.....

10:04 PM  

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