Thursday, May 06, 2004

Bugs and Nightmares

I fell asleep early last night. Woke up about 2:30 and came out and got on the laptop. My mind's been racing the last several days with thoughts and questions about our impending move next year. First order of business, of course, is deciding WHERE we're going to move. We're in the midst of that decision right now. We know the general area where we want to go--now we're researching various towns. So I found myself between 2:30 and 4:00 this morning reading about demographics and public schools and rental prices, etc.

I couldn't have been on the computer ten minutes when a big flying bug landed on the laptop screen. I'd never seen a bug like this. One would have thought it was some sort of moth because when I got up to get the fly swatter and returned it was flying between the light canister above the computer and the lamp on the credenza. (Because by now I had flooded the area with light to keep an eye on him.) But it didn't look like a moth--and if it had been, I wouldn't have been trying to kill it. It looked like a huge earwig on steroids...and it had these long antennae. It looked like a bug with bad intentions. I finally managed to kill it, but there was much squealing involved as I chased it around. I was hoping my tortured cries would wake the boyfriend and he'd come to my recue. No such luck--he slept through the whole encounter.

I went back to bed at 4 and eventually fell back asleep...and proceeded to have a nightmare. Boyfriend and I were in one of the towns we're looking at. We'd gone to visit my brother's family and driven over to the other town. (My brother lives about 10 minutes from this town.) In the dream, we hadn't moved yet--we were just there for a few days to scope things out and then had to return to the islands. We spent the day wandering around the town and then ended up in a huge library/dining complex (it's a university town). It was quite crowded and we decided to sit for awhile since we'd spent most of the day walking. There were some wooden benches along the walls, but they were almost fully occupied. Boyfriend took a seat on one and I had a seat on an adjacent one, at a 45 degree angle to his. At one point, he yelled over to me, "I like all kinds of music, don't I?" I said "yes" and then realized that he was having a conversation with the gentlman seated next to him about music. I left him to his conversation and turned to look around at all of the books and diners. When I turned back to the boyfriend, he was gone. GONE. Nowhere in sight, in any direction. I figured he had to be nearby because he wouldn't just leave without saying anything. But time passed...and then a lot more time passed. I got up and looked around the immediate area. There was a men's room near his bench and I started lurking outside of it hoping that was where he'd gone. Meanwhile, it had gotten dark and the dining area had emptied and started to fill up again with dinner patrons who all seemed to be quite dressed up. Then I realized I had a giant stuffed bear in my left arm. It was huge--almost as large as me. Boyfriend had bought it for me during our wanderings that day. So here I was, lurking around a men's room in a university building in the semi-darkness with a huge bear, trying to look inconspicuous. I began to wonder if he'd disappeared and gone into hiding because he liked it so much there he didn't want to come back to the islands, even long enough to move. I began to get so distressed that I woke up, and as I was waking I could feel myself tossing and turning in sort of a tortured fashion. (I know, it sounds quite melodramatic...and corny.) I was so happy to be awake and realize it was only a dream and that he was waking next to me. And then I remembered that before we went to the States six months ago, I used to joke that we'd stayed stuck on our little island for 3-1/2 years because the boyfriend feared that if I got on a plane (anywhere!) I might not want to come back. I'm not going to make that joke anymore.


Post a Comment

<< Home