Monday, December 06, 2004

Who's on first?

As usual, I spent way too much time at the laptop before work, to the point where I had to literally run around to get ready to go. Nothing new, that's pretty much my daily routine. All the while I was doing my typical weekday grousing..."I hate that job. Stupid job. Why can't I just work at home?!" (In those moments it doesn't matter that I have absolutely no idea what I would actually do if worked at home. The whole point is just to avoid having to go there.) I've showered and am frantically sliding hangers back and forth, desperately searching for something unwrinkled because ironing?...yuk. Keep in mind that my non-casual Monday through Thursday wear would be too casual for casual Fridays in the States. So baggy t-shirt, baggy drawstring pants and flip-flops later and I'm good to go. Add some minimal jewelry, a quick dab of lipstick...and oh yeah, I guess I should brush my hair. (Vanity, thy name is...not me.) I've gathered up the overdue library books, put some leftovers in Tupperware and head out the door laden with my handbag, a large straw tote filled with all sorts of crap, Tupperware, cell phone, keys, coins for the newspaper. I walk out the screen door onto the balcony and as I open the front door and glance up the stairs, I see a frightening sight...our parking space is empty. I immediately panic that our car has been stolen. STOLEN! Then I tell myself: don't panic yet...maybe there was someone in our space when the boyfriend got home from his gig the night before...maybe it's just parked somewhere else. Besides, it would have had to have been stolen in the last hour...because surely he would have noticed it was gone when he left for work. I head up the stairs with a pounding heart and frantically look in both directions on our dead-end sign of the Honda anywhere. I open my cell phone and call the boyfriend at work and ask in a worried voice, "Where's our car?" "What do you mean, where's our car? I TOOK it." "Why would you take it?!" (He typically walks to work.) "What do you mean, why did I take it? I had to go do WORK!" And then he hangs up on me. I'm standing in the middle of our street, holding all this crap, screaming at him because he's left me stranded without a way to get to work...and he's hanging up on me. Why that motherfu... I run back into the house to call him on the land him the benefit of the doubt despite my fury...cell phone coverage is crap here...maybe he was just cut off. But before I can reach the phone inside, my cell is ringing. I answer it yelling, "WHY would you take the car?!" "What is WRONG with you? I told you, I had to go to WORK!" "But I have to go to work!" "On Sunday?!" "What?" "What day do you think this is?" "Um. Oh. What?"

That's right, boys and girls, the woman who detests her job more than any human on the planet woke at 6 am yesterday convinced that it was Monday. Jesus, no wonder I ran around getting dressed thinking that the weekend had really flown by.


Blogger Katherine said...

fabulous . . . simply fabulous . . . :)

12:11 PM  
Blogger annette said...

Man I hate that!

1:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are too funny, woman! During Thanksgiving break I felt rather disconcerted, and of course when I was unemployed, every day felt very much the same. But I'll bet it was cool NOT to have to go to work after all! ~ sam

7:00 PM  
Blogger Silly Old Bear said...

So did you go back to bed?

12:21 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home